The Top Ten Most Worthless People on Earth
10. L.Ron Hubbard
Founder of Scientology, The make-believe religion that is founded on the idea that people are immortal spiritual beings who have forgotten their true nature. Such members include Tom Cruise and Greta Van Susteren (the thing with the disgusting fucked-up face on FOX NEWS [The right wing extremist white supremacist TV network]). I couldn't possibly imagine what the real God did to this prick when he
arrived for final judgment roll-call.
9. Carson Daly
The Consummate MTV tool. Will promote anything or any product for cash. Spent years as the host of MTV's TRL (Trendy Requests Live) licking the balls of the world's most talentless bands and musical "artists". Carson Daly represents all things that are soulless and wrong.
8. Kathy Griffin
The most hideous creature alive today. Has twelve TV shows that no one actually watches. Kathy Griffin is apparently supposed to be some sort of female comedian (which, as we all know, is an oxymoron).
7. P.Diddy (or whatever he's changed it to most recently)
A slurred-speech holier-than-thou piece of shit that has no perceivable talent. Claims to be a "producer" which is apparently some sort of slang for "person who pays for people with actual talent to make records". P.Diddy owns some shitty restaurant in Atlanta called Justin's that is constantly rated as a terrible restaurant. I have searched the entire record of human history and thus far have failed to find one single instance where P.Douchy has done anything useful. God may be ultimately infallible, but he was definitely
not paying attention when he made P.Duddy.
6. Sean Hannity/Ann Coulter
The dynamic duo of right wing extremism. Normal people cannot afford to eat at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse every night of the week and shop for toothbrushes at the Sharper Image you pompous propaganda-spewing jizz beard.
And just when you think it couldn't possibly get any worse, oh great, Ann Coulter wants to say something.
"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity."
Remember the last time somebody said something like that ?
5. Michael Vick
Ron Mexico is too stupid to be an NFL quarterback. He takes one read and then runs on every single play. Every time he throws an interception he gives everyone a shitty confused look like it's their fault that he threw a ball 30 yards away from the intended receiver. He's definitely a real humanitarian off the field too, with his dog murdering and STD trafficking. It is a real honor to have such a person as Ron Mexico on this planet giving guidance to all of us misplaced humans who have lost our way.
4. Missy Elliott
Fat, disgusting, obnoxious and talentless. A true looking-glass into the soul of the american teenager who for some reason, made Missy Elliott famous in the late 90's. MTV force-fed her garbage "music" into the faces of teenagers for years and as a result, this fat whore keeps showing up at media events because she thinks it's a buffet. She dances like a deaf retarded elephant with a red hot fire poker shoved up her fat disgusting ass. She is the type of person who is sent to the prisons for conjugal visits for serial killers in maximum security. The common hope is that either the serial killer will kill her or she'll give the serial killer an incurable venereal disease. Either way, we win.
3. Chad Kroeger
Chad Kroeger is a droopy-sacked jizzshoveler and is responsible for destroying rock and roll. Nickelback also thinks that the american public is stupid and would not realize that all of their songs are the same song and can be played over one another and synch up (see evidence below). His guitar skills are equivalent to those of a mentally retarded meth addict and he sings like he has a cock perpetually stuck up his ass.
To listen to Nickelback's recycled garbage click here
Please note that the songs are exactly the same BPM, exactly the same length, the verses and choruses start and stop at exactly the same time, the drums are near replicas of one-another and the chord progression is almost exactly the same.
2. Adolf Hitler
Killed 6 million Jews. Widely regarded as the most deplorable figure in human history.
1. Kid Rock
The most deplorable figure in human history.
"I am American Dumbass
Watch me plagiarize"
Letter From the Editor
Dear Mr. Rock,
You are the most worthless person in all of humanity's existence. You have led the most unsatisfactory life of any person in all the annals of time. Your life has slowed the progress of the human race and if it were not for you, we would have flying cars and the cure for AIDS by now. You represent failure at all levels and our children are now stupider for having been subjected to you and your music. You have taught us that plagiarizing songs is now deemed as acceptable in the music industry and have given us inspiration with your lyrics:
"Give the next generation a big, Fuck You!
Who knew I'd blow up like Oklahoma
Said fuck highschool, pissed on my diploma
Smell the aroma
Check my hits
I know it stinks in here
Cause I'm the shit, shit, shit, shit, shit"
Mr. Rock, you represent embarrassment and failure.